The World Cup

Let me begin by saying that I love World Cup Soccer. I wait for it, I become fiercely patriotic during it, I loathe the last day of it because it means four more years before the next one. That said, I do have a few complaints.

1. The Vuvuzelas. It's almost universal: everyone hates the ridiculous horns except the South Africans. Fine. Blow your horns. But know: the world is annoyed. Nice going, South Africa, you found something more annoying to the world than apartheid. Not a small feat.

2. The dives. The flops. The players groping at their forehead when they've been struck on the shoulder. The player grabbing his shin in agony after a mere brush with an opponent. Those players should be embarrassed, and their countrymen should be embarrassed. Soccer, or futbol, is known as "the beautiful game," and most of the time it is. But these theatrics, these shameless acts, these cowardly plunges only serve to humiliate the players and the game. By my tally, the Portuguese are the worst. The Italians shouldn't be proud. And the Argentinians need to sack up. I'm also a fan of American Football, and I can't imagine such unsportsmanlike behavior tolerated in that sport; those men take licks on every play and pop back up. So come on, world. If soccer is the world's game, soccer players need to stop the diving . See link: http://www.miamiherald.com/2010/06/16/1684905/downfall-or-great-fake-soccer.html (By the way, the Americans have been extremely noble in this regard. Cheers to our boys).

3. That goal that was robbed from the US vs. Slovenia. Come on!

4. This world cup Adidas ball (say Ah-dee-das). How many times are we going to see a shot sail 20 feet over the goal? These guys are the best in the world, and they (mostly) miss the target (the goal) by huge margins. I played soccer growing up. When you shoot, hit the target, or get close. These guys are all over the place. For the sake of soccer talent world-wide, I hope it's the ball. Otherwise these douchers need a simple lesson: 100% of extremely wide or tall shots will never score a goal. Put the ball on goal to have a chance.

I don't mean to complain; as I said, I love the world cup. We should be proud of our boys. But don't blow the vuvuzela, you just sound like a jackass.