The rating system

One of the charges set forth by the founders of this blog, Jason and Tracey (Trason, or Jacey), was that Claire and I would develop a rating system for restaurants and other things. Here is my proposal, (which I assume will draw a counter proposal from Claire). Let me say first, we love both of our pets equally. But, I think it is beyond dispute that dogs are, if not superior, at least nicer than cats. Dogs represent the positive, and if I may be so bold, cats represent the negative.

For instance, Beetle, our dog, is a shining beacon of humor and joy. Ella, our cat, would kill her own kittens for a little “me-time.” That might be an exaggeration, but not by much. Beetle will howl with delight after being reunited with one of his people after even a very short absence. He misses people when they’re away. Ella has probably forgotten who you are a few minutes after you’ve left the room (and, by the way, she was mostly annoyed with you when you were in the room). She resents people when they are near.

Some will say that I’m just trying to illicit some kind of humorous response from Claire with this post. Some people will say that Beetle once chewed a pair of my Mom’s shoes that cost about $150 (let’s see some hard evidence, Dymond). Some people will say that Ella means well, she’s just kind of a bastard. All would be correct.

So let me cut to the chase: my rating system would consist of two symbols: a Beetle, for good, and an Ella, for Evil. Not evil, sorry; I mean not good. Beetle for good, Ella for not good. So if we rate a place, say a restaurant, with 3 Beetles (the highest measurement), it’s probably so damned good that anyone with any kind of sensibility would run to it right away. 3 Ellas, on the other hand, would mean that you should crap in a bag and throw it at the restaurant’s door. I’ve seen my brother do it.

So, another gauntlet, Claire-belle.